Saturday, May 22, 2010

Bitches till the End

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have breast cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.

They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Indian Doctor

An Indian Doctor wanted to go meeting in Thailand, he calls his young male nurse.
Dumbi and tells him “A Dumbi, I am going Thailand tomorrow, we don't want to close the Clinic, I ask you to take care of our patients.”
Yes, sir...... answered Dumbi.
The doctor returned the next day and asked:
So Dumbi, how was your day? Dumbi told him he took care of 3 patients.
The first one had a stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX.
Dumbi, and the second one?
The second one had, sir. She had an headache and I gave her TYLENOL.
Dumbi ''you're good at this! And the third one?
Sir, I was sitting in the clinic suddenly the door opened and a woman entered like a ''flame'' and undressed herself, taking off her bra, I was confronted with a “stunning woman of a great body”
…and then she took off her panties..... then she jumped and lied on the table and shouted:
HELP ME since 3 years I have NOT SEEN ANY MAN!!
And what did you do, Dumbi?
I put eye drops in her eyes sir!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Before and After Marriage

Before Marriage


Sam -Ah, At last I can hardly wait.

Maggie - Do you want to leave me!?

Sam - No, Don't even think about it

Maggie - Do you love me?

Sam - Of course, always have and always will

Maggie - Have you ever cheated on me?

Sam - No, why are you even asking?!

Maggie - Will you kiss me?

Sam - Every Chance I get!

Maggie - Will you hit me?

Sam - Hell no, are you crazy?!

Maggie - Can I trust you?

Sam -Yes!

Maggie -Darling!

After Marriage, ready from the Bottom back to the top