Do you believe Genies?

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?" "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied."Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.""Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!""And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants," she said."Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!" "And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?""Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife." The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"You know I love you, sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for you!" So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about four hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked: "How old are you and your husband?""Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly. "No Kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?"

Girls Night Out

Two women friends had gone for a "girls night out"- both were very faithful, loving wives... however, they had gotten a bit over enthusiastic on Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk and walking home-they needed to pee, so they stopped in a cemetery. One had nothing to wipe with so she decided to take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however, was wearing expensive panties and didn't want to ruin them...luckily she had squatted next to a grave that had a fresh wreath with a ribbon on it...so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls completed their "business" they continued toward home.
The following day, one of the women's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed and hung over. He phoned the other husband, and said "These damn girl's nights out have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst! My wife came home with no panties!"...

"That's nothing!" said the other husband, "mine came back with a card stuck in the crack of her butt that read:

"FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION... WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU"!

HK Snob

Password

An attractive Computer Consultant Maggie was trying to assist the Production Manager for accessment on his computers system…
Maggie asked what his Password is. Peter, the Manager grinned as he had had a plan to make a hoax to Maggie by telling her his Password is “PENIS”

Maggie entered the computer professionally without and further hesitation.

However the computer prompted up an error message” Rejected, Not Long Enough”
HK Snob

Replies by the Contestants in Miss World Contest

America

Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen. Question: How can you say so? Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman......................... (Applause! Applause!)

Malaysia
Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton cars. Question: How can you say so? Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft........................... (Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause!)
Spain

Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull) Question: How can you say so? Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.... (Applause! Applause!)
Philippines
Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors. Question: How can you say so? Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth...... (Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)
India

Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers. Question: How can you say so?
Ms India: Because it works day and night...... (Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Singapore
Question: Ms Singapore, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ in Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).
Question: How can you say so? Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 10 minutes before the show is over (Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)

Saudi Arabia
Question: Ms Saudi Arabia, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Saudi: Well, I can say that male organs in Saudi are like thieves. Question: How can you say so? Ms Saudi: Because they like to enter through the back door..... (Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
Hong Kong
Question: Miss Hong Kong, how do you describe a male organ in your country…

Miss Hong Kong, hmm, well, it is hard to say, but honestly I could say they are like Chinese Fried Twisted Dough Sticks (youtiao)…When it is hot, it expands 5 times in 2 seconds to a decent full length that scares every woman.. When it is cold, it stays hard…
Japan
Question: Miss Japan, how do you describe a male organ in your country…

Miss Japan replied in blush, we are women of Yamato-damashii, I am shy to tell you that, the male organs in Japan are like tasting ice-cream in Sahara dessert , when I want to lick it, it is already melt in my hand.

(……)

Libya

Question: Miss Libya, how do you describe a male organ in your country…

Miss Libya replied…. Sorry I am still a virgin, My home town is Benghazi, I had no idea of our male organs is as all men are forced to be converted to soldier in protecting Tripoli since Col Qaddafi’s freakish rule 40 years ago. I have not seen a single real man at all.


HK Snob