Ad for hiring "Fool Proof Test Engineer"

 Advertisement for “Fool proof test Engineer”

Immediate Position Urgent needed by a World Lumber One Stupid Company

Nature of the engineer;

basically he must be a “Fool”

Sex:

3 times a week Min, , gay and lesbian basically not considered to be a fool, will be considered too

Academic Background
Preferably to be a phD holder (Pig head Dummy), experiences is helpful but not important

Hour hours

5 days a week

13 months salary a year

Salary:

Good enough for a fool

Job nature:

Test and debug our automation machine to be “Fool Proof” product before shipment

Promotion Path

With 2 years exceptional performance will be promoted to “Idiot Proof engineers”

If you think you are already an Idiot, you can apply directly to “Idiot Poof test Engineer.”

HK Watch Fever
HK Snob

Your WIFI

A man received the following text from his neighbour:

"I am so sorry Dan.  I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.  I have been tapping your wife, day and night, when you're not around.  In fact, more than you.  I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse.  I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again."

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun and, without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

"Damn autocorrect.  I meant "WIFI", not "wife"."

Joss Stick and iPhone

Yesterday I went to buy some joss stick and joss paper to pray for my ancestors.

The Shop Keeper asked me if I want to buy paper iPhone to be burnt for my ancestor, I said they know how to use or not. He said Steve Jobs already there, can teach them to use.

I said OK, he asked me how about the casing, I said OK, next he said do I need an iPad?

I said might be needed too, then he said how about charger? I said do they need charger? He said of course, after battery is flat how to use the iPhone and iPad. So I bought the chargers also.

Then I asked for his name card. He said why I need his name card?

I said I would have to burn it for my ancestor for warranty claim, they will contact you directly!

HK Snob

Name Card

Only you are Cantonese would laugh to death.

HK Snob

Scoreboard

Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn’t start, and it was too late to call the local service station.


The husband urged Charlie to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there wasn’t even a sofa. So Charlie would have to sleep with the husband and wife. No sooner had the husband fallen asleep when the wife taped Charlie on the shoulder and motioned for him to come over to her. “I couldn’t do that,” he whispered. “Your husband is my best friend!”

“Listen, sugar,” she whispered back, “there ain’t nothing in the whole wide world could wake hime up now.” “I can’t believe that,” Charlie said. “Certainly if I get on top of you and screw you, he’ll wake up won’t he? “Sugar, he certainly won’t. If you don’t believe me, pluck a hair out of his asshole and see if that wakes him.”

Charlie did just that. He was amazed when the husband remained asleep. So he climbed over to the wife’s side of the bed and fucked her.

When he finished, he climbed back to his own side. It wasn’t long before she tapped him on the shoulder and beckoned him over again. Again he pulled a hair to determine if his old friend was asleep. This went on eight times during the night. Each time Charlie screwed the woman, he first pulled out one of the husband’s asshole hairs.

The ninth time he pulled a hair, the husband awoke and muttered: “Listen, Charlie, old pal, I don’t mind you fucking my wife, but for Pete’s sake, stop using my ass for a scoreboard!”

After Sales Service

A Hooker was questioned by policeman why she was having Prostitution with man in Hotel, that was a serious offence in the Hong Kong.

The hooker said that she was not prostitute, she was just selling Condom, thought she said that she was a bit making a bit expensive for the Condom at HKD$1,500!

The Policeman said that why then you are making love with the man in the bed!?

She said, she was just doing an After Sales Service… to his client how perfect her product was!

HK Snob

Golfer's accident

One day a golfer accidentally overturned his buggy.

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa  on the golf course, heard the noise and called out,
"Are you okay, what's your name?"
"It's John, and I'm OK thanks," he replied.

"John forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I'll help you get the buggy up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," John answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."

"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.

She was very pretty and persuasive.

"Well okay," John finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."

After a restorative brandy, and some driving and putting lessons, John thanked his hostess.
"I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."

"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile , "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Under the buggy!" he explained.

Ng Kam Chiu and Ng Shum Chiu

Today I took taxi to send my CEO to Airport… I saw this Picture of Driver Ng Kam Chiu, he really did not look back the back Mirror to me and I am… sure he is the real Ng Kam Chiu...
What if Ng Kam Chiu married Ng Shum Chiu….?
One dare not look at other and One Can not bear who looks at her… Well, they are perfect couple…that they can stay peacefully forever…
Make you have a laugh today…
HK Snob

Two Recent found nice jokes

I got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.


********************************

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."

An Old Jewish man

An Old Jewish man walking down the street one afternoon sees a woman with perfect firm breasts

He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?" 

"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and walks away.   

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. 

"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" 

So the little old Jewish man runs around the next block and faces her again. 

"Would you l et me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!" 

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there." 

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fond ling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them. 

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you going to bite them or not?'

"Nah," says the little old Jewish man... "Costs too High!"