Ad for hiring "Fool Proof Test Engineer"

 Advertisement for “Fool proof test Engineer”

Immediate Position Urgent needed by a World Lumber One Stupid Company

Nature of the engineer;

basically he must be a “Fool”

Sex:

3 times a week Min, , gay and lesbian basically not considered to be a fool, will be considered too

Academic Background
Preferably to be a phD holder (Pig head Dummy), experiences is helpful but not important

Hour hours

5 days a week

13 months salary a year

Salary:

Good enough for a fool

Job nature:

Test and debug our automation machine to be “Fool Proof” product before shipment

Promotion Path

With 2 years exceptional performance will be promoted to “Idiot Proof engineers”

If you think you are already an Idiot, you can apply directly to “Idiot Poof test Engineer.”

HK Watch Fever
HK Snob

Name Card

Only you are Cantonese would laugh to death.

HK Snob

After Sales Service

A Hooker was questioned by policeman why she was having Prostitution with man in Hotel, that was a serious offence in the Hong Kong.

The hooker said that she was not prostitute, she was just selling Condom, thought she said that she was a bit making a bit expensive for the Condom at HKD$1,500!

The Policeman said that why then you are making love with the man in the bed!?

She said, she was just doing an After Sales Service… to his client how perfect her product was!

HK Snob

Ng Kam Chiu and Ng Shum Chiu

Today I took taxi to send my CEO to Airport… I saw this Picture of Driver Ng Kam Chiu, he really did not look back the back Mirror to me and I am… sure he is the real Ng Kam Chiu...
What if Ng Kam Chiu married Ng Shum Chiu….?
One dare not look at other and One Can not bear who looks at her… Well, they are perfect couple…that they can stay peacefully forever…
Make you have a laugh today…
HK Snob

Final Destination

When I checked in at Manila Airport for departure for Hong Kong

Philippine Airlines Check in Count beautiful lady asked me” what is your final Destination?”

I said, ”Heaven!”

HK Snob

China News Agency Photographer

His request approved, the China News Agency photographer
quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport
to charter a flight.

He was told a Single Propeller engine plane would be waiting
for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming
up outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door
shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind
and took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the
pilot, 'Fly over the Ningbo Bullet Train scene and make low
passes so I can take pictures of the crashes of the two trains

'Why?' asked the pilot..

'Because I'm a photographer for China News Agency' ,
he responded, 'and I need to get
some close up shots ASAP.'

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment.
Finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me,
is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor!?

Ningbo Snob

How To understand Woman

A Man asked the God, can you build a bridge linking up California to Beijing!?
The God said, well that is very difficult and I can not promise this. Can I help you on the next request!? So the man asked again, Can you help me to understand woman?
God said, how many lanes you want for the bridge, two or four?
HK Snob

Password

An attractive Computer Consultant Maggie was trying to assist the Production Manager for accessment on his computers system…
Maggie asked what his Password is. Peter, the Manager grinned as he had had a plan to make a hoax to Maggie by telling her his Password is “PENIS”

Maggie entered the computer professionally without and further hesitation.

However the computer prompted up an error message” Rejected, Not Long Enough”
HK Snob

Replies by the Contestants in Miss World Contest

America

Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen. Question: How can you say so? Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman......................... (Applause! Applause!)

Malaysia
Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton cars. Question: How can you say so? Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft........................... (Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause!)
Spain

Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull) Question: How can you say so? Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.... (Applause! Applause!)
Philippines
Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors. Question: How can you say so? Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth...... (Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)
India

Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers. Question: How can you say so?
Ms India: Because it works day and night...... (Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Singapore
Question: Ms Singapore, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ in Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).
Question: How can you say so? Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 10 minutes before the show is over (Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)

Saudi Arabia
Question: Ms Saudi Arabia, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Saudi: Well, I can say that male organs in Saudi are like thieves. Question: How can you say so? Ms Saudi: Because they like to enter through the back door..... (Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
Hong Kong
Question: Miss Hong Kong, how do you describe a male organ in your country…

Miss Hong Kong, hmm, well, it is hard to say, but honestly I could say they are like Chinese Fried Twisted Dough Sticks (youtiao)…When it is hot, it expands 5 times in 2 seconds to a decent full length that scares every woman.. When it is cold, it stays hard…
Japan
Question: Miss Japan, how do you describe a male organ in your country…

Miss Japan replied in blush, we are women of Yamato-damashii, I am shy to tell you that, the male organs in Japan are like tasting ice-cream in Sahara dessert , when I want to lick it, it is already melt in my hand.

(……)

Libya

Question: Miss Libya, how do you describe a male organ in your country…

Miss Libya replied…. Sorry I am still a virgin, My home town is Benghazi, I had no idea of our male organs is as all men are forced to be converted to soldier in protecting Tripoli since Col Qaddafi’s freakish rule 40 years ago. I have not seen a single real man at all.


HK Snob

Welcome to Hong Kong Special Admininstration Region, Have a Nice Day!

Mr. Yoshihiko happened to meet A Hong Konger Paul in the rest room before get on the car to avoid peegret.

Paul peeped at Yoshihiko’s penis, found that was tattooed “WY”on it.

He grinned and stared at Paul and hold up his little sex weapon and tried to enlarge it... after a few minutes it showed the full word “ Wendy”, he said, that is name of his Girl Friend!

“Thumb’s up!” Paul showed some respects to Yoshihiko San!

Well, With some dirty eyes looking at Paul’s…noticed that Paul had also a Tattoo “ WY” on his thing…of similar length at rest condition.


Just a minute Paul worked on it… It Displayed “ Welcome to the Hong Kong Special Administration Region, Have A nice Day!”

HK Snob

Next time when the Hotel Bill is too high...

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Phoenix to NYC. After nearly twenty hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep Just for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the front desk clerk hands them a bill for $450.
The man is hysterical annoyed and demand to know why the charge is so high.
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $450. When the clerk tells him $450 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the Hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.
"But we didn't use them," the man complains.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows the hotel is famous.
"The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows, "complains the man again.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.
No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.
He writes a travelling cheque and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised. "But sir," he says, this cheque is only made out for $100."
"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $350 for sleeping with my wife."
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad," the man replies." She was here and you could have."

Poor Village Girl

Once there was a slim, beautiful but poor village girl who accidentally dropped her Silver neck lace into river and then she cried loud for help!

Her tears had moved he angel and the Angel appeared and asked her why she cried, she told the Angel so. And The Angel put her hand into the river and pulled up a diamond necklace and asked if that is the one.
The poor Village girl said “No!”
The Angel put her hand and fetched up a gold necklace and asked he again, “is this yours?”
The Village girl said “No!”
The last trial, the Angel took the on she lost into the water a said,” Well, this is yours?”
The Village girl said “Yes, this is it!"
The Angel said, “ Oh, you are so kind and honest I would like to give you all three Diamond, gold and your silver necklace…at same time!”
The Village girl took them away happily went home.
After some time the Village girl was force to marry with an fat ugly man in the village by her greedy Parent’s.
And One day when they walked in the bank of the river, her husband slipped in to the river, and the tender hearted village cried again loud and woke the Angel.
The Angel flied and appeared in front f her,’ Hey, you again., what do you lose this time?”
She said , “My husband!” while worrying that her husband would get drowned soon!
The Angelo said,” OK I will find for you…”
After a while, the Angel fetched a Handsome strong man with the face of Michelangelo!!
All the sudden the Village girl said. “ Yes, this is my husband!”
The Angel hesitated, stopped and asked solemnly, “Well , really this is your husband?
Are you telling me lies!?”
The Village Girl cried even loudly and said. “No. this is not my hunband but as what you did last time, If later you find my ugly husband , and I said he is my husband, you would give me three as for my husbands, I am afraid I will be making love to death by three men!!

HK Snob