What if Ng Kam Chiu married Ng Shum Chiu….?
One dare not look at other and One Can not bear who looks at her… Well, they are perfect couple…that they can stay peacefully forever…
Make you have a laugh today…
HK Snob
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Ng Kam Chiu and Ng Shum Chiu
What if Ng Kam Chiu married Ng Shum Chiu….?
One dare not look at other and One Can not bear who looks at her… Well, they are perfect couple…that they can stay peacefully forever…
Make you have a laugh today…
HK Snob
Two Recent found nice jokes
I got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.
********************************
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.
********************************
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."
Saturday, August 18, 2012
An Old Jewish man
An Old Jewish man walking down the street one afternoon sees a woman with perfect firm breasts
He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"
"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and walks away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"
So the little old Jewish man runs around the next block and faces her again.
"Would you l et me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"
She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fond ling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you going to bite them or not?'
"Nah," says the little old Jewish man... "Costs too High!"
Monday, February 6, 2012
Good Wife
Good 'ole wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to
Her Bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She was turned mad!
She reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink and relax.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them
Stay in our bedroom. Hope you said Hello to them!"
Her Bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She was turned mad!
She reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink and relax.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them
Stay in our bedroom. Hope you said Hello to them!"
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Final Destination
When I checked in at Manila Airport for departure for Hong Kong
Philippine Airlines Check in Count beautiful lady asked me” what is your final Destination?”
I said, ”Heaven!”
HK Snob
Philippine Airlines Check in Count beautiful lady asked me” what is your final Destination?”
I said, ”Heaven!”
HK Snob
Friday, December 23, 2011
Old man thinks fast
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
Some old men can still think fast.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
Some old men can still think fast.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
China News Agency Photographer
His request approved, the China News Agency photographer
quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport
to charter a flight.
He was told a Single Propeller engine plane would be waiting
for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming
up outside a hanger.
He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door
shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind
and took off.
Once in the air, the photographer instructed the
pilot, 'Fly over the Ningbo Bullet Train scene and make low
passes so I can take pictures of the crashes of the two trains
'Why?' asked the pilot..
'Because I'm a photographer for China News Agency' ,
he responded, 'and I need to get
some close up shots ASAP.'
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment.
Finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me,
is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor!?
Ningbo Snob
quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport
to charter a flight.
He was told a Single Propeller engine plane would be waiting
for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming
up outside a hanger.
He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door
shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind
and took off.
Once in the air, the photographer instructed the
pilot, 'Fly over the Ningbo Bullet Train scene and make low
passes so I can take pictures of the crashes of the two trains
'Why?' asked the pilot..
'Because I'm a photographer for China News Agency' ,
he responded, 'and I need to get
some close up shots ASAP.'
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment.
Finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me,
is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor!?
Ningbo Snob
Friday, June 10, 2011
How To understand Woman
A Man asked the God, can you build a bridge linking up California to Beijing!?
The God said, well that is very difficult and I can not promise this. Can I help you on the next request!? So the man asked again, Can you help me to understand woman?
God said, how many lanes you want for the bridge, two or four?
HK Snob
The God said, well that is very difficult and I can not promise this. Can I help you on the next request!? So the man asked again, Can you help me to understand woman?
God said, how many lanes you want for the bridge, two or four?
HK Snob
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Government Job
Ah Beng goes to the City headquarters to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink Coffee."
"Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was with the 6th Regimen for 20 years".
The interviewer says, "That will give you 7 extra points toward employment."
Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay!
You've got enough points for me to hire you right now.
Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:30 pm.
You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:30 pm, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
"Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was with the 6th Regimen for 20 years".
The interviewer says, "That will give you 7 extra points toward employment."
Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay!
You've got enough points for me to hire you right now.
Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:30 pm.
You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:30 pm, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
Monday, April 11, 2011
Cartier Shop
A lady walks into Cartier. .. she looked around, spotted a beautiful diamond bracelet and walked over to inspect it... As she bent over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farted... Very embarrassed, she looked around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prayed that a sales person was not anywhere near... As she turned around, her worst nightmare came in as there was a salesman standing right behind her... Tall, handsome as well cool as a cucumber, he displayed all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Cartier... He politely greeted the lady with, 'good day, madam .. how may we help you today? Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asked, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet ?' He answered, "madam .. if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price .."
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