A DRUG-FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT- We booze it up at company parties.
ACTIVE SOCIALLY-Drinks a lot
AGGRESSIVE-Obnoxious
APPLY IN PERSON- If you’re old, fat or ugly like I, you’ll be told the position has been filled.
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE- in the list of next retrenchment programme
CAREER MINDED-Back Stabber
CAREER-MINDED-2nd interpretation, female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
CAREFUL THINKER-Never makes a decision
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE-We don’t pay enough to expect that
CEO -Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO- Corporate Fraud Officer.
CTO- Chief Ticklish Officer
COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED- Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy, English Literature or religion.
COMPETITIVE SALARY- We remain competitive by paying 30% less than our competitors.
DUTIES WILL VARY- Anyone in the office can boss you around.
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGMENT-Luck
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED- Made no major blunders yet
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY-Spouse drinks, too
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS- Spends most of the time on phone chatting
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS- Able to BS
HARD WORKING-must be dumb
INDEPENDENT WORKER-Nobody knows what he/she does
JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM- We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY- We have no time to train you; you’ll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR-Knows a lot of dirty jokes
LOYAL-Can't get a better job elsewhere
MARKETING MANAGER- Messenger of messengers
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL-A nit picker
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED- You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL-We have no quality control.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE-We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
OUTGOING PERSONALITY -Always meeting people at Starbucks
QUICK THINKING-Offers plausible excuses
SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE-who still live
with their parents and won’t mind our internship-level salaries. You’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Smoke Free Office- Smoking Car park area, smoking lobby, restroom…
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED- Some time each night and some time each weekend
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS-Gets someone else to do it
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY-Too ugly to get a date
HARD WORKING - must be dump
INDEPENDENT WORKER-Nobody knows what he/she does
JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM- We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY- We have no time to train you; you’ll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR-Knows a lot of dirty jokes
LOYAL-Can't get a better job elsewhere
MARKETING MANAGER- Messenger of messengers
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL-A nit picker
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED- You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL-We have no quality control.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE-We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
OUTGOING PERSONALITY -Always meeting people at Starbucks
QUICK THINKING-Offers plausible excuses
SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE-who still live with their parents and won’t mind our internship-level salaries. You’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Smoke Free Office- Smoking Car park area, smoking lobby, restroom…
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED- Some time each night and some time each weekend
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS-Gets someone else to do it
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY-Too ugly to get a date
HK Snob
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